So here’s that blog i promised you :)
So basically, i’m really trying to restrict my eating now - trying to get down to 8st by the 17th of December. I don’t find it too much of a problem if i stay on track - i’m 8st5lbs now. Basically cocopops for breakfast, nothing during the day and then either cocopops or toast for tea. That has been the plan anyway but several things have happened in the past week to disrupt that plan… here they are.
I’m not going to bore you with the WHOLE story so here’s the basics. I met this guy (nameless) and began to really like him. We were meeting up all the time and things just seemed to be going so well. But then suddenly everything changed, i blamed it on the fact that i’d starting eating a sandwich at school and just stopped eating. We carried on talking but it just wasn’t the same. I lost so much weight just convincing myself he would like me better. But then one night i decided to confront him about it - we spoke for aages just like it was before and decided that i would be best if we just stayed friends (his decision mainly). So we’re back to talking like friends, i still like him but i know nothing is going to happen. The thing is - now i’m happy. I’m no longer confused and i don’t feel so alone. So i’ve started eating again. I suppose it was just the rejection motivating me to lose weight, and now i’ve got no motivation. I’m still determined to do it. I still hate my figure. I still NEED to be a size 6. It’s just going to be a lot harder now. I’ve also told him quite a lot, how i want to lose weight etc. He seems to care, but the problem is i plan on pushing myself to the extremes - how long is he going to keep his mouth shut for?
Mum is really freaking out at the fact that i’m losing weight. She keeps trying to feed me all these fatty foods. She bought me pies, i fed them to the dogs; she bought me a box of celebrations, i took them into school for people to eat. Last week she said that i wasn’t allowed cocopops until i started eating properly (I need cocopops! I live off the things!!) So i thought i better had just eat a meal or two to convince her i was fine. The problem with that is i’m not losing weight anymore. So i’m just giving up caring what she thinks. She said my ass looks ‘anorexic’ now, WTF?! I’m deffo not anorexic, i know i’m not fat. I just want to lose weight!
Well i think that’s my rant over for today, wish me luck in this whole losing weight jazz - i’ve never been more convinced this is what i want :) After all, i’ve got fuck all else to look forward to!!
Hope to write soon